Crisis Across the Multiverse, Part II: Monkeying Around

After the depressing gloom and existential horror of Erde, the new world the Vanguard and friends found themselves on was several orders of magnitude better… at least at first glance. Although the Norn could have chosen a somewhat more discreet spot to drop them into this reality, Quanta thought…

They had materialized in the middle of a major intersection in what appeared to be the downtown area of an exceptionally clean and tidy metropolis. Quanta winced at the squeal of brakes and blare of horns as traffic ground to a halt around them, but his attention was drawn, like the others’, to the sight just visible over the tops of nearby buildings. In the distance, between the nearer skyscrapers, backdropped by a clear blue sky and haloed by the sun, were two very tall, familiar towers –  New Atlantis’ most famous landmark, the distinctive twin towers of Tesla Plaza! And flying proudly from the top of each tower was a giant Stars & Stripes.

It sparked a sense of relief in the Vanguard, at least, and the hope that this time they wouldn’t be dealing with any freaky, “History has gone wrong here!” scenarios. 

“Thank god,” sighed Chuck, beginning to relax a bit. “Maybe this time all we need to do is explain our mission to the friendly natives, maybe get their help, then put everything right in time for a nice brunch.”

That got a chuckle from his teammates, except for Jonny. He was staring intently at the building to their southwest, a six story modernist building of steel and glass, the familiar, signature look of…

“Uh, guys… have any of you heard of Banana Computers?” He pointed at the building and the large stylized yellow and white banana with the bite taken out of it.

As the others turned to stare at the building other  details started to sink in… there was something odd about the people on the street, almost all of whom had stopped to stare at them… something you couldn’t quite put your finger on…

“Hoi! Police! What’s all this then?” demanded a deep, bass voice, in East Coast American English. Turning toward the officer, prepared to begin the needed explanations, Artemis froze. 

The policeman was actually some sort of… policeape! A burly African gorilla, in fact, dressed in a smart black and white policeman’s uniform. Scion rather fancied that the look on the ape’s face, as he finally got a good look at the group, was even more shocked than their own. He back-pedaled frantically, scrabbling at his hip trying to draw his service revolver, and calling urgently for backup into his collar mic.

At this point the details of the crowds on the streets and in the stopped cars around the (mostly) humans started to fully sink in – everyone was an ape or monkey of some kind: gorillas, chimpanzees, orangutans, and more. All were dressed in contemporary fashions, and all appeared every bit as horrified by the non-ape invaders as the gorilla cop… they alternately begin to point, yell, scream, or, in the case of several women (or at least monkeys wearing make-up and dresses, Mariala thought) to swoon.

“What are you?” demanded the cop. Having at last managed to draw his weapon (a rather high-tech looking pistol, Scion noted), he was now aiming it shakily at the heroes. “Don’t move, you – you FREAKS!”

“Please officer,” Artemis said holding her open hands out and stepping forward. “We’re from an alternate reality, and we’re here to help.”

Beside her, Scion let his helmet melt into his armor, trying to seem less threatening to the obviously freaked out primate policeman. Unfortunately it just seemed to freak him out more, while Artemis’ words didn’t seem to register at all.

“Just stop!” the cop cried, his deep voice sliding up an octave. “Freeze, and put your… hands, of whatever… in the air, you alien monsters!”

Tototem’s attempts, as Raven, to psychically sooth the exited officer’s emotions crashed against an almost impenetrable wall of hysteria, and came to nothing. Jonny, seeing the rising panic in the cop’s eyes, and his shaking paw with the gun, decided to be helpful.

He raised his hands, as requested…  and released a dazzling burst of blue-white light. This succeeded in blinding the poor officer but, strangely, did nothing to calm him. He began firing wildly, spraying violet-tinged energy pellets in a wide arc before him.

Amazingly, every single shot missed Vulk, Toran, Devrik, Erol and Chilz, who had all been more-or-less in the target field.

“OK, that was very Pulp Fiction, but Jonny, could you stop trying to help?” Growled Chilz. “Let’s try to figure out what’s going on here…”

“Has no one read the Threat Deescalation Handbook I put together?” Scion asked in annoyance. But it was out of control now, and they’d better try to get control back while it was just one cop. He tried to take the… man… person… down quickly, with a Magnetic Seizure blast – and missed!

“Damn, he’s staggering around like a – like he’s drunk! He’s going to hit bystanders in another second. Mariala, can you –”

Mariala was already on it, and cast her Fire Nerves spell at the cop, careful to avoid the crowds beyond him. But the policeape continued to flail wildly, and the spell imbedded itself in a newspaper box behind him. He had at least stopped firing his weapon, perhaps realizing he’d lost any idea of where his targets were.

“Sorry guys!” Jonny called out, chagrined. “With my luck, someone’s already posting video of all this on ookNet, and conspiracy theories are already forming.”

“Which gives me an idea,” Chilz said suddenly. “Korwin, come on, let’s check out that newsstand near the Banana Computer’s store. On any world, if anyone is going to have news of weird sightings and strange happenings, it should be the tabloids!”

While he understood the words, Kowrin didn’t really understand the reference. He was nonetheless happy to follow his new ice friend’s lead… who knows, there might be another opportunity to combine their so-similar magics!

At this point about half a dozen police cars hand managed to make it through the traffic jam, to surround the intersection. Policeapes boiled out of the vehicles, weapons drawn and aimed at the strange, horrifying invaders.

Before they could begin erecting a perimeter, Quanta decided that Chilz had the right idea, if the wrong destination. The nearby Main Library seemed a more rational place to look for information, and he quickly opened a portal to the building’s stone lion-flanked entrance.

Erol, noting his new friend’s departure, and his destination, decided to follow. Casting a spell of Invisibility over himself, he slipped silently past the barricades the City Guard were erecting, between their bizarre horseless carriages, and hastened toward the great stone steps of the library, where Quanta had just slipped inside.

Raven had added his own attempts at persuasion to Artemis and Scion’s, but the newcomers seemed as unwilling to listen to reason as the original cop. As large armored vans began arriving and disgorging heavily armed and armored SWAT apes, the situation felt like it was spiraling out of control…

Jonny saw the same thing, and feared nerves were about to break… most of the Vanguard could shrug off small arms fire, but he was much less sure about their allies in the Hand of Fortune… he summoned his flames and took to the air, the better to draw any fire away from his friends. And sure enough, a flurry of shots from half-a-dozen cops, including the still half-blind one arced up after him. 

Several hit him, and while they vaporized in his plasma, whatever energy their weapons used actually stung. He began dodging the rest of the fusillade, until a commander below regained control, and the firing stopped.

Toran had also sensed that things were not going well, and he decide to use his Amulet of Deception. Basing the look on the first City Guard they’d encountered, he made himself look like one of the strange creatures, and moved to join several gathered at the east side of the intersection.

The illusion deceived the apes, but his efforts to convince them to deescalate, seemed to fall on deaf ears. They appeared to have the idea that they were heroically repelling an alien invasion…

“Everybody, this is Scion,” the voice of the Vanguard’s leader came over the strange talking-gem in Toran’s ear. “I’ve gone invisible and made my way into one of the police vehicles. I’ve accessed their computer, and hacked my way into a local mainframe.

“It seems these people suffered an invasion from the Weld several years ago… not a big one, maybe, but it did a lot of damage before their local superhero team, the Primate Patrol, managed to send the Weldlings packing.

“They think we’re the spearhead of a new invasion, and we need to deescalate this now. I think it’s time to surrender… that may be the only way to get them to listen, and time is short.” 

“I second that,” Quanta put in from the library, where he’d set Erol to doing keyword searches on a reference computer. “I think our body language and scent are also getting in the way of our attempts to communicate.”

“Naw, I think we’re just suffering -10 penalties on our Persuasion rolls,” Chilz interjected sardonically. He had erected a wall of ice around the newsstand, to give him and Korwin time to check out the publications, but aside from traumatizing themselves with the latest issue of Playape, they’d learned nothing. His attempts to reassure the terrified orangutan news vendor, cowering behind his counter, were equally fruitless. He doubted de-icing himself would help, even if he was so inclined, with all these trigger-happy cops around…

“I agree with Scion,” Artemis replied with a sigh. “It’s time to try something else.” She slowly raised her hands, palms out, and after a moment Raven and Vulk followed suit. 

But Mariala had spotted a sniper chimp atop a SWAT van taking aim at Artemis with one of their projectile sticks… even from a distance she sensed the creature’s intent to fire…

Her Mental Bolt took the chimp full in the head, and he collapsed silently atop his vehicle. Unfortunately his “rifle,” she remembered it was called, slid from his grip and clattered to the strange, smooth pavement they had here. His nearby companions went… apeshit.

Toran acted quickly then, bravely pretending to be the first cop to go in and “round up” the aliens. “See, they’re surrendering!”

But before he could reach his comrades a blue blur streaked past him, and suddenly Devrik, who had drawn his sword when the shooting had started, was being pummeled by a blinding array of fists. 

The attack was startling, more for it’s blurriness and uncertainty than for it’s slight damage, and the fire mage glared around to find whoever, or whatever, had assaulted him. However ineffectively…

At just that moment the Blue Flame, out of the loop due to his inability to keep a comm link from vaporizing in his plasma form, decided the sewers were likely their best hope of escape, and blasted the apehole cover in the middle of the intersection. Unfortunately Devrik was standing almost on top of it, and he leaped back with an oath.

“Sorry! Sorry!” Blue Flame called down sheepishly. “Didn’t see you there, man! But aren’t you immune–”

His words were cut off as a monkey in a suit of red and silver armor flew in from the west at high speed and blasted him in the back with some sort of force beam. The energy punched through his plasma form, stunning Jonny momentarily, and he dropped to the pavement, reverting to human.

Mariala, meanwhile, had sensed a powerful psychic presence when she had mind-blasted the sniper, and now she attempted to confront it. But her thoughts met an impenetrable psychic wall, perhaps the strongest she had ever encountered. It did not seem an entirely human mind…

Devrik, seeing the fiery blue youth shot from the sky, immediately took a defensive stance over his fallen comrade, his annoyance of a moment ago forgotten. His sword was up, and he prepared to light it up, eyes constantly moving, looking for that blur again–

He felt a presence in his mind, and before he could react he was mentally seized , as if an immense hand had grasped his body. While he could still think, he was frozen, unable to move a muscle. His sword dropped from nerveless fingers, as a red haze filled his vision. His mind blanked out with inchoate rage as he bent every iota of his being to finding the source of this foul violation!

Meanwhile, in the public library, Quanta was being bounced around the Reference Section by a gibbon in a skin-tight magenta and black costume that did not flatter its body… which seemed to be made of almost infinitely stretchable rubber. Those punches of his pack a real wallop, Quanta thought as he picked himself up out of the wreckage of several bookshelves.

“My friend, we are in a temple of knowledge,” he said holding his empty hands up and trying to look as non-threatening as he could. “Would it not behoove us to stand down and talk, rather than destroy this hallowed place? My name is Quanta, and I come in peace.”

The primate superhero paused then, looking mildly surprised. “Huh, you speak pretty good English, for an evil invader. Better than me, actually… so OK, I’ll listen to what you got to say pal. And you can call me Elastigibbon. Who’s your buddy over there?”

Erol bowed slightly and introduced himself, carefully letting the Principle fade from the spell form he had been preparing, then stepped over to stand beside Quanta.

“Thank you, Elastigibbon,” Quanta said, lowering his hands and barely blinking at the name. “I appreciate your willingness to listen to what I have to say. Now, I posit that the same paradigm exists in your reality, as in ours – that a rare minority of beings are “super-powered. 

“As in my world, so to in yours, I theorize – some decide to protect, while others choose to destroy.  I imagine you, too, have experienced many odd, even otherworldly things in your career, yes? If so, I entreat you to consider that we have been placed in the same position vis-a-vis your world, which is as strange to us as we must be to you. 

“I assure you we are here to protect, not just your world, but an infinite number of other worlds, each as real and alive as this one. Unfortunately, I do not know the precise location of the threat but I do know it’s near, and I know its form – it is an explosive device of unimaginable magnitude that must be found and disarmed as quickly as possible. 

“Now, how do you suggest we proceed to find it and render it impotent?”

After a moment of considering this odd speech, Elastigibbon raised a hand to his temple and spoke. “Brainiape, are you getting this? Any idea what this… guy… is talking about?”

“Yes, my friend,” the psychic ape replied, in both his teammate’s mind and those of Quanta and Erol. “They are from an alternate reality where life evolved very differently, they are not hostile, and they truly believe they are here to save our reality from imminent annihilation.” 

“Oh. Well why didn’t he just say so.” The costumed primate held out his hand to Quanta, who took it without hesitation. “No hard feelings, pal, but we’re pretty touchy around here about inter-dimensional incursions!”

Outside the tension had finally broken, in a completely unexpected way, unexpected at least by the visitors. An impressive gorilla in a high-tech jumpsuit had floated out of the sky, seated in an impressive hover chair. His amplified voice had cut through the cheers that erupted from not only the crowd, but from the cops as well.

“Please, everyone stand down! I am Dr. Simian, and I’m here to help. Everyone, please lower your weapons, ease off of your powers!”

The ape officers, both regular cops and the SWAT specialists, immediately lowered their weapons and quickly retreated behind their established cordon.

A second great ape, in a dark costume and a flowing cape, stepped into the intersection, nodding genially to officers as he passed them. Dr. Simian floated lower, and again addressed the crowd, gesturing at his companion below.

“Brainiape confirms that these beings, however shocking we may find their forms, are good-intentioned visitors to our world. Let us greet them as friends, and hear what they have to say to us!”

“That’s all fine and well, Doctor,” Brainiape muttered sotto voce to his leader. “But the one I’m controlling seems unusually upset… I’m afraid in his enraged state, it’s not safe to release him.”

“He has a particular aversion to people, of whatever description, violating his mind,” Mariala told the psychic ape coolly. “Maybe if I speak to him…”

But neither her words nor Vulk’s effort to cast Herald’s Peace on Devrik seemed fully effective in the face of his fury. In the end, Brainiape simple released him, and bore it stoically when Devrik instantly punched him in the nose. 

This caused a bit of stir in the crowd and the cops, but Dr. Simian smoothed over the tense moment, chuckling about “youthful hijinx” and “different customs.”

• • • • •

It took a surprisingly brief time to sort things out, once the hysteria had been contained. Despite Scion and Artemis’ concerns on hearing the name “Simian,” it quickly became obvious that this ape was no villain. Hailed by both the police and the citizens with wild enthusiasm, it seemed he was this worlds greatest hero, a fact Scion was able to confirm as he skimmed the data he’d download from the cop car’s computer.

“This guy seems to be the real deal,” he said quietly over a private comms channel, as Dr. Simian calmed the police. “The whole planet apparently hails this Simian as its greatest scientific genius and philanthropist. He’s patented a great many inventions, which are mass produced by his company, ASTRO Labs.

“Seems like he’s been instrumental in improving the quality of life of all Mankind – er, Apekind – here, but the consensus seems to be that his organizing and training of the Primate Patrol was his crowning achievement. 

“Seems to  largely shun the spotlight and prefers fighting crime from the sidelines, but I’d guess there aren’t many on this world who don’t know Simian and revere him for his goodness and generosity. Huh. Who would have thought it…”

“I hope you’ll forgive us our rough welcome,” Dr. Simian said at last, when he approached the group, his hover chair floating just a foot off the ground and a SWAT Team captain walking next to him. “Captain Aldo here was a young officer the last time we faced an actual alien invasion, and he remembers that terrible time clearly.”

“Yes, I apologize,” the Captain said, somewhat grudgingly Scion thought, but he let it go. No doubt Dr. Simian had been forced to have a strong word or two with the… man. “Let me officially welcome you all to New Africa City, and the Unified Simians of America.” 

“I understand, from what my dear friend Brainiape tells me, that you believe our world is in grave and imminent danger,” Dr. Simian said once the greetings and introductions were done. “Time would seem to be of essence, so rather than have you repeat the tale multiple times, I think the best course of action is to get you together with Mayor Zaius, here in New Africa City – he is the closest political figure who commands enough resources to be of use to us.

“And I have enough clout with him to cut through all the usual green tape. So let us waste no more time – to City Hall!”

Captain Aldo still seemed not entirely convinced that these deformed aliens weren’t more of Chronos’ extra-dimensional monsters, but he acquiesced to the good doctor’s request and provided two large transports to carry the 12 aliens, the six Primate Patrol members, and as many of his men as he could squeeze onboard across town.

As the various groups sorted themselves out and the trucks were brought forward, Quanta managed to get Scion a little apart, with no apes obviously watching them. 

“John, I’d like you to do a DNA analysis of these,” he said quietly, handing over six small evidence bags. “They’re hair samples I’ve managed to collect in the last hour or so. I want to know if there’s any trace of human DNA in any of them.”

“Why would there be human DNA in– oh!” Sudden enlightenment crossed John’s face. “Of course. Our wold’s Simian has tried more than once to mutate humans into other primate forms. You’re thinking maybe in this world he succeeded?”

“The thought crossed my mind, yes.” With a nod Quanta turned to climb into his assigned transport, and Scion walked thoughtfully to his own, already quietly slipping the first sample into the analyzer on his left forearm.

In the same vehicle with Scion were Dr. Simian, Artemis, Devrik, Jonny, Vulk, Chimpanzoom and Metapemorpho, and four of Aldo’s SWAT officers. The second vehicle carried Captain Aldo and another four of his SWAT squad, Quanta, Chuck, Mariala, Toran, Korwin, Brainiape, and Elastigibbon. An unspoken understanding had quietly made sure to keep Devrik and Brainiape out of the same vehicle. Iron Monkey flew point above the convey.

On the half-hour ride to City Hall the Primate Patrol seemed particularly curious about their visitors, and the alien heroes were equally curious about the strange world they found themselves on.

“I do hope you won’t hold the reaction of the police and the by-standers against us,” Dr. Simian said, smiling ruefully. “The NAPD has been on edge ever since the fiend known as Chronos attacked the city a few years ago, sending an army of hideous extra-dimensional creatures to enslave us. They wreaked much havoc in the city before the Patrol and I managed to repulse them.”

In the other vehicle Captain Aldo was offering much the same explanation, ending with “Therefore, it’s only natural when creatures as disgustingly ugly as yourselves (no offense meant, of course) appear out of nowhere! We all just assumed the worst, and responded as if another full-scale invasion was underway.”

Seeking to cover the captain’s little gaffe, Brainiape spoke up. “Our Earth is, I imagine, in most respects much like your own. Our people represent many different species and creeds, but strive to live in harmony and make a better future for all. 

“We are, justifiably I think, proud of our many achievements in the arts and sciences, which have led us to live in an unprecedented age of plenty and ease, while caring for those less fortunate. 

“I suspect our people and yours are also much alike in their marvel for the inspirational super-powered heroes, such as yourselves, who protect them.”

In the lead vehicle, Scion asked “So are there no humans on this world at all? In your zoos perhaps, or kept as pets?”

“Good heavenly canopy no,” said Dr. Simian, appalled. “We would never keep such close relatives in cages, how barbaric! 

“But no, I’m unaware of any surviving humans on this world. From what the fossil record tells us, your subspecies, and all the ancestors of the modern Ape races, shared a common ancestor over five million years ago. 

“But the species I suspect would have led to you humans died out about three million years ago. Which makes us all some sort of virtual long-lost cousins, I suppose.”

“So, this New Africa City seems much like our New Atlantis,” offered Jonny. “Many buildings seem the same… is it the center of your super-hu- er, super-ape population too?”

“Oh yes,” agreed Chimpanzoom. “The city just seems to attract the bizarre and unusual. We’re one of the USA’s leading metropolitan areas, and we’ve been the center of meta-ape activity since the appearance of Ultrachimp in the late ‘30s. Perhaps naming the city New Africa, after the fabled sunken lost continent of Africa, wasn’t the wisest choice.”

“There’s been talk of renaming the city for years,” offered Metapemorpho, “ever since the undersea kingdom of Africa was revealed during WW II, but it never goes anywhere. Too much history, I suppose.”

in the other vehicle, Elastigibbon gave a brief history of super teams on his world. “But at this point the Primate Patrol is the most famous superhero team of them all, certainly comparable to the Freedom Apes of WW II fame. In the aftermath of the Weld Incursion I think we’ve more than fulfilled our mission to fight injustice and protect all apekind, despite the best efforts our worst enemies.”

The convey eventually arrived at the large and very impressive New Africa City Hall, where everyone was herded into the central rotunda, the only space big enough to hold all those involved in the upcoming meeting – the Vanguard, the Hand of Fortune, the Primate Patrol, half the city’s SWAT squad, and the mayor and his staff and advisors.

“My god,” whispered Jonny to Chuck as Mayor Zaius entered and took his seat. “He looks just like Caesar, from the Wahlberg Planet of the Apes movie, in a suit and bow-tie!” 

Chuck shushed him while trying not to laugh (because it was true!) as the team leaders stepped forward to answer the ape’s many questions and tell their story.

In as brief an explanation as was consistent with covering the facts and conveying the deadly seriousness of the situation, Artemis, Scion and Quanta between them laid out the story of the destruction of the multiverse, and their quest to save it under the aegis of the Norn. When they were done, Captain Aldo and the Mayor looked shaken, the Primate Patrol horrified, and Dr. Simian fascinated.

“Well, it’s clear that we must do all that we can to aid you in this endeavor,” the good doctor said, breaking the shocked silence.

“One way you might help,” said Quanta, stepping forward, “is if you’re able to access your country’s military databases. While searching the public records in your Main Library I found a small article from 10 days ago that stated the US Navy had returned unexpectedly from maneuvers in the Mid-African Ocean. Rumors of the recovery of a downed satellite, perhaps belonging to the Panda’s Republic of China, are rife, but I wonder if–”

“Yes, you are a very perceptive ape, er, person,” Dr. Simian interrupted, excitement tinging his normally calm voice. “Your story meshes quite well with facts already in my possession… and Brainiape’s telepathic scans during your tale having again confirmed your veracity, I can now reveal that you are correct. Almost certainly the very object you speak of splashed down in the African Ocean ten days ago.

“The US Navy recovered it before the King of Africa’s aquatic forces could, thankfully, and on the President’s orders it was transfered to my laboratory here in the city. I have been performing a battery of tests on the sphere, and I’m afraid our visitor’s story confirms the suspicion that has been growing in my mind over the last several days concerning its danger,” he said to the Mayor.

Turning to Quanta and the others he asked “Would you be willing to return to my lab with me and help me to disarm it? If, as you say, you’ve had experience in disarming another of these terrible devices then I’d be a fool not to avail myself of that expertise.”

It was at that point that Devrik, who had slowly been seething in the background since the mention of on-going telepathic scans, exploded in fury. Pulling his battle sword from its sheath on his back, he lunged for Brainiape.

“STILL you invade the sanctity of our minds?!” he roared as flames wreathed his blade. “Get out of my head you damn, dirty ape!”

Around the chamber the startled SWAT apes who, along with Captain Aldo, had begun to relax, drew their weapons. Most of the Primate Patrol, caught momentarily flat footed, stood agape at this sudden turn, and even Dr. Simian seemed taken by surprise. Only Brainiape seemed unsurprised, although he appeared to make no move to protect himself.

But Mariala had been watching her friend closely, and she’d seen the storm coming. While she couldn’t bring herself to Fire Nerve Devrik, she could use Passion Nerves to try and calm him down… but the spell did no more than cause the enraged fighter to momentarily shudder, barely slowly his charge.

It was Raven, who had also been watching the unstable Novendian, who ended the contretemps before it could turn disastrously bloody. Before Devrik could get within striking distance of his target Raven cast an illusion of invisibility over the psychic ape, making it seem as if he had teleported away.

The enraged fire mage came to a halt, breathing hard and glaring around the chamber, but when he found no sign of his nemesis he allowed himself to be calmed by Vulk and Erol. Mariala and Artemis quickly stepped up to reassure the twitchy apes that the situation was under control, it had all been a misunderstanding, ha-ha, boys will be boys…

Nerves settled and the mood in the chamber soon returned to one of cooperation, as they made plans to head immediately to Dr. Simian’s laboratory. While the transports were again brought around Scion and Quanta found a quiet moment to consult over their comm links.

“OK, that was very strange,” Quanta said. “How is it that all of these highly trained Special Weapons and Tactics apes just sat there when fantasy-boy went berserk and tried to attack one of their beloved heroes?”

“Maybe they really are that highly trained,” suggested Scion diffidently, “and they don’t pop off half-cocked like humans might.”

“Yeah, that scene in the streets today when we arrived would argue against that… you don’t really believe it, do you?”

“No,” sighed Scion. “It was an odd reaction, or lack of reaction. I also found it amazing that Artemis and Mariala, for all their skills at persuasion, brought the apes down so quickly, afterward. I suspect Brainipae’s power was at work, no doubt at Dr. Simian’s command… he seems to truly understand the seriousness of the situation, and probably didn’t want us all sidetracked by trivialities.”

“Speaking of Simian,” Quanta said, “any results on those hair samples yet?”

“Just running the last one now,” Scion replied, checking a readout on his wrist-comp. “I can’t do a full sequencing in the field, of course, but the tests I can run would show if there was any human DNA underlaying the samples – and they don’t. These apes appear to have always been apes.”

“Hmmmm. Well, so much for that theory,” Quanta sighed. “I guess this world’s version of the good doctor really is a hero…”

• • •

Under heavy police escort, the Handguard and the Primate Patrol were quickly driven to the local branch of Simian’s company, Anthropoid Scientific and Technical Research Organization (ASTRO) Labs. Located on the edge of the city, built into the bluffs overlooking a state park, it took the better part of an hour to get there.

Having previously talked about their world, this time the ape heroes indulged their curiosity about their counterparts from another world, most of them setting aside their past hostilities as simple misunderstandings. They marveled at the differences of the two worlds their new friends came from, and clearly wished there was more time to explore it all. 

Devrik took no part in the conversation, preferring to brood on the injustice of mind control, staring out the window at the views of happy children at play, loving families spending time together, and hardworking apes going to and fro about the metropolis. All of which gradually calmed him down enough to allow him to admit that the general ape-in-the-street was probably OK. 

But if that damn Brainiape ever tried to fuck with his mind again…

Once at the ASTRO Labs facility, they lost the police escort and were quickly waved inside by private security guards. The transports drove through massive double doors and onto a high-speed lift, which carried them very deep underground, as Toran confirmed despite the speed of the descent. 

Before their stomachs could catch up, the lift stopped and another pair of large metal doors opened, revealing the parking garage of a large subterranean complex.

Leaving the vehicles, the group was guided to a smaller, but still quite capacious, elevator which dropped them down another several hundred feet. It opened onto a short corridor which quickly widened out and ended in a set of large blast doors. At a touch of Dr. Simian’s paw to a biometric scanner pad the doors slid open to reveal an immense open lab… and the ominous form of a cosmic-energy bomb on a raised platform at its heart.

As the alien heroes and the Primate Patrol followed Doctor Simian into his lab, the huge doors closed behind them with an echoing boom. 

They could see several lab-coated rhesus monkeys busily engaged in various scientific studies, all of which appear focused on the bomb. In its general layout, the complex seemed similar to the one which housed the cosmic device on Erde but, if anything, even more secure. Rather like a bomb shelter, in fact.

“Well, that’s a new development,” the doctor muttered, eying the alien sphere. “Those lines between the hexagonal plates were not glowing this morning…”

A lab monkey handed him an electronic report pad, and he frowned as he read it.

“It means the bomb has entered its final stage,” Scion said urgently. “We need to disarm it NOW!”

“Yes, I quite agree,” Dr. Simian said, moving his float chair towards a bank of computers and a large control panel. “Let me make a few adjustments here, and then if you’ll describe the procedure I will begin the disarming process.” 

“Doctor, there really is no time to explain the technique to you,” Quanta said, his urgency matching his friend’s. “Scion and I have already disarmed one bomb, it would be best if we simply did so with this one. We can talk about it in detail once the threat is over.”

“Yes, yes, I can see that what you say makes sense,” the genius gorilla responded a bit absently as he flipped several switches and fiddled with some dials. Finishing his task quickly, he turned to his guests and gestured toward the bomb platform. 

“Please proceed. I assume you won’t mind if I observe? Pure scientific curiosity aside, it is our world at stake… I feel we should have some part in the saving of it.”

Although neither human hero was completely comfortable with having even a good version of The Simian looking over their shoulders, it wasn’t worth the limited time left to argue about it. They nodded and followed the doctor’s hover chair down the central aisle towards the platform.

They weren’t halfway there, however, when the voices of the Primate Patrol behind them suddenly rang out in eerie, robotic unison: 

“You cannot be allowed to interfere.”

From out of the dimness of the overhead catwalks that criss-crossed the immense lab Iron Monkey swooped down, his force blasters blazing. Dr. Simian’s hover chair took the full brunt of the attack, and both he and the chair were hurled against the wall of the clean-room bunker. He lay half out of the damaged chair, clearly dazed.

At the same time, moving stiffly and wearing obvious glassy-eyed expressions, the anthropoid heroes attacked the surprised humans. Scion and Quanta found themselves battered by a thousand blows in a matter of seconds as Chimpanzoom assaulted them at super speed. Scion was undamaged, but Quanta staggered back, momentarily dazed.

Artemis, almost impossible to take by surprise, hurled her Shadow Sticks at Elastigibbon before the obviously mind-controlled ape could attack her. Unfortunately both the impact and the electrical shock were easily absorbed by the hero’s rubbery form.

Already prepared for some sort of treachery, Mariala instantly Fire Nerved the four Patrollers in front of her. Elastigibbon and Metapemorph avoided the effect, while Iron Monkey and Brainiape went down – but only for a few seconds. Almost at once they were back on their feet, resuming their attack despite the pain she could sense in them.

Raven quickly cast an illusion of a wall on either side of the aisle to the bomb, seeking to protect Scion and Quanta’s path. Unfortunately the suddenly hostile apes ignored it as if – well, as if it wasn’t there – setting the Avatar’s mind to work on why that should be….

Elastigibbon, bouncing quickly away from Mariala,  attacked Scion, wrapping himself around his legs, only to be flung a dozen yards away, slamming hard into a bank of computers.

Chimpanzoom, or whomever was controlling him, apparently realized he couldn’t damage the armored hero, and focused his attacks on Quanta. Under the force of a thousand blows a second, the quantum hero was staggered, going to one knee. 

Seeing his opponent down, the speedster went in for the kill… but Quanta, calling on the deepest reserves of his quantum energy to clear his mind, counter-attacked, attempting to encase the chimp in a shell of carbon fiber. Even mind-controlled Chimpanzoom was too quick for that, however… but while he avoided the trap, he was at least driven momentarily away.

Metapemorph tried to shape-shift into the form of one of the rhesus monkeys, who were running hysterically around the lab, but apparently failed to see Korwin behind him. The water mage’s spell of Ice Needles of Burkon dazed the mandrill, causing him to lose the form and revert to himself.

At the same time Toran was using his cross-bow to distract Iron Monkey. The armored primate managed to dodge his attacks but was unable to turn his force beam on Scion. The armored human used the distraction to send out an EMP, blacking out several nearby systems – including the flying monkey’s suit.

As the Iron Monkey crashed to the floor Brainiape used his telekinesis to resist the Ice Blast that Chilz directed at him, while Elastigibbon hefted the bank of computers into which Scion had thrown him earlier, and hurled it at the icy hero. The equipment crashed into his back, and Chilz went down under it, not really hurt, but lightly cracked around the edges.

Before he could follow up on his attack, however, Erol thrust his trident at Elastigibbon. The gibbon flowed around the attack and bounded away, back toward the humans who were trying to get to the bomb.

Meanwhile Blue Flame had lit up Devrik’s sword with blue fire, and the delighted fighter-mage lost no time in going after Brainiape. 

“How’s it feel to mind-controlled, bitch?!” he screamed as the gorilla staggered back under the fury of his attack, his dark fur singeing.

Back on his feet and again trying to move toward the bomb, Quanta called out to the others over the comm link. “Could this be Chronos’ doing? Has he finally figured out what we’re doing, and this is his move to stop us?”

Before anyone could answer him, Quanta felt a dark presence in his head, and suddenly he was a passenger in his own body. All he could do was watch in impotent anger as another will raised his hands and fired a quantum matter blast point blank into Scion’s back.

Scion staggered forward, almost going down, and Elastigibbon was on him in an instant, wrapping his pliable body tightly around the dazed hero and bringing him to a halt.

Unable to get across the battlefield to the fallen Dr. Simian, Vulk tried something he’d never done before, channeling his healing power through the Staff of Summer. A pale green light flashed out to envelope the dazed ape scientist…

“No!” shouted Raven, an instant too late. “I’ve been scanning the minds of the controlled heroes – it’s not Brainiape doing all this, there’s a bio-mechanical energy involved, and the signature matches that of Dr. Simian’s hover chair and other tech!” 

“Well shit!” muttered Chilz as he socked Brainiape in the jaw while Blue Flame and Devrik pummeled the gorilla from either side, bringing him to his knees.

At the same time Iron Monkey, finally recovered from the EMP, took to the air again and fired another force blast at Scion. The human wheeled around and Elatigibbon took the hit, going limp and collapsing at his feet. Scion launched a tangle-field net that ensnared his opponent for critical seconds, allowing him to aim a fusillade of armor-piercing rounds at Simian…

Raven was eager to go after the deceitful Dr. Simian, but realized a controlled Quanta was too great a threat to the team. He focused his own considerable skill at mind-control on Brainiape’s already weakened influence, snapping it with relative ease.

Suddenly freed from the insidious mind-control and back in command of his body, a furious Quanta turned his quantum matter blast on Simian… Maybe that Devrik guy wasn’t so far off the mark after all!

On hearing Raven’s warning Mariala, with an oath for the double-dealing ape, immediately turned to cast Fire Nerves at him… 

Vulk, cursing his trusting nature, aimed the Staff and launched a volley of Stavin’s Arrows at the villain he’d just “healed”…

Blue Flame, focused on keeping Devrik’s sword aflame, tried something new himself, causing a gout of blue plasma to erupt from the weapon and arc towards the doctor…

Artemis, wasting no time on futile recriminations, threw both her shadow sticks at Simian…

Realizing the jig was up, Dr. Simian had quickly extracted himself from his fallen chair and set it upright. Leaping into his seat, his hand flew across the controls in the left arm…

Just before the combined attacks of his enemies reached him, a shimmering shield of green energy snapped to life around the hover chair. Bullets, matter streams, glowing arrows, plasma streams, and inky black fighting sticks all bounced off his force screen.

Only some sort of nerve attack got through before the shield went up, and that only for an instant. Still, it had stung, and he was furious at the indignity. No one injured Dr. Simian with impunity! He hadn’t gone to all those years of primate medical school to put up with this kind of shit!

As his foes closed on him Dr. Simian bared his fangs at them all in a savage grin, and flipped up a cover on the right arm of his chair. Pausing for a moment of dramatic effect, he hit the big red button revealed, and then laughed out loud.

Suddenly the overhead lights flickered, then changed from an indirect soft white to a brilliant pulsing green. A loud humming filled the room and everyone, the still-standing members of the Primate Patrol included, grabbed their heads. 

They all struggled to stay conscious, but in just a few seconds everyone began to black out under the nausea-inducing influence of the inescapable green energy field generated by Dr. Simian’s fiendish weapon…

• • •

According to the chronometer in his armor, Scion hadn’t been out long… less than ten minutes. Which was ten minutes too many in the heat of battle. Why was he still alive? He groaned as he climbed to his feet… it felt like he’d torn every muscle and tendon in his body!

Wait, were his fingers always that long? And why was he standing so oddly, like he was slightly bow-legged? It was then he caught sight of Chuck, in his human form, also climbing to his feet…

No, Scion realized with a feeling of cold dread… in his orangutan form. The Q-lon 7 fabric of his costume had adapted, but there was absolutely no doubt that Chuck Chisholm was now a Great Ape! Well, a different kind of Great Ape than his normal one.

As he stared around at the others, variously beginning to come to and start the painful process of standing, he saw that most of them seemed to have been changed into chimps. But what about him–

“God God John!” cried Artemis. “You’re a chimpanzee!” It was the first time he could recall hearing real horror in her voice. 

With a sigh he created a disk of his nanites in the palm of his hand and turned it reflective. Holding it up first to Artemis and then one-by-one to the others he let them see what had been done to all of them. Vulk, like Chuck, appeared to be an orangutan, while Devrik and Toran seemed to be two different species of gorillas.

Lastly he turned the mirror on himself and examined his altered face closely. Still good looking even as a chimp, he thought wryly, but then frowned. Damn, even in this altered form he still had that hated blue tint to his skin… he usually kept himself well tanned to hide it, but apparently chimps didn’t tan.

“Goddamn it!” Quanta began cursing, loudly and inventively. “ I knew that son of a bitch had a DeVolver Ray^®, I just knew it!

• • •

It took a few minutes for everyone to come to grips with what had happened. The Primate Patrol was still unconscious, scattered about the lab where they’d fallen, and no amount of effort seemed able to rouse them.

“They seem unaltered,” Vulk noted after examining each one. “Pulses are strong, breathing’s good, so I think they’ll be fine once they wake up.”

“If they wake up,” said Devrik, darkly eying the comatose Brainiape and fingering his dagger hilt.

“Void curse it Devrik, let it go,” snapped Mariala. “We have more important concerns now. And Vulk, stop dry humping Chimpanzoom’s leg!””

“Yes,” agreed Artemis, ignoring the embarrassed cantor as he stepped away. “Where is Dr. Simian and, more importantly, where is the Cosmic Energy Bomb?”

“Both in the same place, I’m sure,” growled Quanta. “And we’d better find them fast if we don’t want to get blown up with this reality.”

“Well, I think I’ve found out how the bomb left the room, at least,” Toran called from the scaffolding that held up the platform where the device had once rested. 

It took Scion almost no time at all to hack the biometric lock that controlled the iris hatch under the platform, through which the bomb had almost certainly been lowered. The shaft it revealed was deep and dark.

“Maybe we could all link arms and lower ourselves down,” Toarn offered dubiously.” Alright, maybe not the best idea, but he completely failed to understand why the members of the Vanguard laughed so hard at his suggestion.

In the end, Chilz made a spiral ice ramp along the wall of the 100’ shaft for the non-flier’s in the group, while the fliers simply drifted down. At the bottom of the shaft was a wide corridor, and it ended in yet another set of massive bunker-style doors.

Scion’s bio-scanner hacking tool, which had got them past every obstacle so far, was no use here, for there was no mechanism to hack. “He must have the key built into that damn chair of his,” he muttered. “I have no idea how we’re getting through these… but just maybe I can give us an idea of what’s on the other side…”

He sent a stream of nano-bots from his armor through the hairline gap between the doors, forming a mono-molecular connection that allowed them to transmit an image back to him. What it showed him was chilling, and he holo-projected it on the door for the others to see. 

The room beyond was long and relatively narrow, clearly a bunker meant for serious defense. At the far end, on a raised dais, Dr. Simian could be seen posing and gesturing, in the trademark megalomaniac fashion of villains in every universe, before a honeycomb of monitor screens covering the far wall. 

He appeared to be addressing the nations of the world on every radio and television station, threatening to detonate the cosmic-energy bomb if the entire world didn’t immediately surrender to his absolute, but totally benevolent, rule. 

He had clearly transmitted all his readings on the power of the bomb, and stunned and frightened world governments were already beginning to transmit their complete capitulations to the madape… 

“I have an idea,” Chilz said suddenly. “Korwin, can you create some of the magical water of yours, and flood the insides of these doors?”

“Of course,” the water mage replied without hesitation, immediately setting about the task. When his effluvium had filled the internal mechanisms of the doors, Chilz began to drop the temperature far below freezing. As the water froze it expanded… the metal groaned and creaked… cracks began to appear… Chilz slipped his fingers into the gap between the doors as it became wide enough, and he pulled with all his strength…

With a shriek of rending metal, the two massive doors tore away to either side, ice and shards of titanium flying everywhere. For a moment everyone just stared, until Devrik said, grudgingly, “That was… impressive.”

The bodies of Simian’s rhesus lab workers were scattered about in bloody heaps – victims of their master, no doubt, once they had discovered his true plans and objected to them.

And on the floor directly before the dais was the Cosmic-Energy Bomb, dramatically highlighted by a bright spotlight. Scion took to the air and rushed for the bomb – only to smash headlong into an invisible wall of force that cut off the far side of the room.

“You’re too late,” Dr. Simian gloated from behind the safety of his force field. “As you see, already the nations of the world begin to bow before me. I have discovered how to render the bomb inert whenever I wish – and reactivate it if I must!”

“You’re a fool, Simian!” Quanta shouted as he helped Scion to his feet. “There is only one way to make the bomb inert – and Chronos has planned for exactly this sort of hubris, of self-deluded fools who think they can control his power. It’s what he counts on, and that bomb will go off— soon! Are you really so willing to die?”

“Piffle,” the gorilla dismissed Quanta with a wave of his paw and turned his hover chair back to the screens arcing around him. Reactivating his microphone, he proceeded to ignore the heroes behind him and resumed haranguing the hold-out nations…

“I don’t think he’s taking your full powers into account, Quanta,” Scion said in grim amusement.

“No, he’s not, and it’s going to cost him,” Quanta agreed, beginning to open a quantum tunnel, the near end hidden from Simian’s view even should he deigned to look around again. The far end of his tunnel opened just beyond the sphere of the cosmic-energy bomb, behind the oblivious doctor.

As soon as the portal was stable Artemis was through it, her shadow sticks flying at Simian even before she hit the floor to roll and come up in a fighting crouch.

As expected, they bounced off the hover chair’s shields, but they served to distract the surprised villain from the Blue Flame, who attacked from the other side. Double blast of searing blue plasma enveloped the chair, and the shields whined as they tried to compensate.

Korwin and Scion were the next through Quanta’s portal, the latter immediately heading to the bomb to start the intricate process of extracting its power core… assuming, of course, that this weapon was identical to the one they’d encountered on Erde. It looked the same, but with Chronos, who knew… JJ shoved the thought aside and began to work…

Korwin, realizing his ice sword would be of no use against whatever mystical shield the monkey was hiding behind, was struck with a sudden inspiration. A barrier kept things out, of course… but did they not also keep things in?

As the others continued their assault, Korwin began to cast his spell… soon a torrent of water began to gush into the relatively small space defined by the hover chair’s shields. In seconds it was up to the surprised doctor’s neck… and then over his head. 

Simian’s eyes widened in panic, and he fumbled in a compartment for a re-breather… but the water had come so quickly, and he hadn’t gotten a decent breath… he fumbled the device, and as he scrambled to recover it panels on his chair began to short out… even as he jammed the re-breather over his mouth the circuits controlling his shield shorted out… for just an instant an egg-shaped ovoid of water hung suspended in the air, before splashing away in all directions.

As he struggled to get a proper breath the gorilla mastermind was hit by what felt like three javelins of electric force directly in his chest and neck. Then an insanely strong orangutan had him in a choke hold – it had to be that mad human, the one who had attacked Brainiape… his vision began to go gray… no, he was so close…

As soon as Devrik had gone through the portal Chilz had thrown up a thick wall of ice, cutting off both fantasy-boy and Simian from the rest of the chamber. Better safe than sorry, and he was sure the crazy swordsman could take care of himself.

Artemis, also on the far side of the ice wall, relaxed as she saw Simian go limp in Devrik’s grip, and the warrior let him drop to the floor, unconscious. The faces of the world leaders on the wall of screens looked very surprised, but pleased, as they watched their would-be Alexander the Ape go down to sudden, ignoble defeat. She wondered briefly why they weren’t freaked out by the humans, until she remembered that they weren’t humans just at the moment… and she really craved a banana, damn it!

“I’ve got it!” she heard Scion shout, his voice muffled by the wall of green ice. And almost at once the world began to fade around her as the Norn drew them all back to the Weld…

• • •

The first thing Erol noticed as the Weld faded into being around him was that the black hole that was the Mega-Entropy seemed noticeably larger… or maybe it was just closer? It was hard to be sure in a space lacking all context, but it didn’t seem to bode well. The second thing he noticed was that he was back in his proper body… or at least in his current Telnori body.

The beautiful face of the Norn appeared before them, drawing everyone’s attention from the disturbing sight of the hungry maw in the “sky.” 

“Well done, my champions,” he said, her voice as melodious as ever, even if tinged with a hint of… exhaustion?

“What about Dr. Simian?” asked Artemis. “We didn’t have time to turn him over to the authorities, and I’d hate to think he might be running loose on that poor world.” 

“There is no need for concern,” the Norn assured her. “Dr. Simian is being held by the authorities under tight security, and will receive a fair trail in accordance with Ape Law. The Primate Patrol is now completely free of his mind control, and feeling deep gratitude for the strange heroes from another reality who saved their world. 

“Indeed, the entire planet saw you take down the traitorous Dr. Simian. A bronze plaque, bearing all your names and likenesses, or at least your ape likenesses, will be placed in the Gallery of Heroes in Primate Hall, home of the Primate Patrol.

“You will always have friends, and be welcome, on Earth-Ape… assuming both universes survive the current crisis, of course.”

The Norn’s visage turned grave then, and that hint of weariness in his face grew deeper.

“We are only halfway through our task, and the Mega-Entropy continues to devour ever more of the Weld. While this distracts Chronos from out activities, it will all be for naught if the Weld is destroyed before this multiverse is restored.

“So let me heal your hurts now, before I must send you on to your next world. A world I fear you will find disturbing, and not much to your liking, but one which must be saved, nonetheless. Still, I think you deserve some warning of what you are to face…”

As before, all their injuries and weariness seemed to flow out of the heroes, and a calmness and peace engulfed them as the white emptiness of the Weld faded away…